Tuesday, December 8, 2009

thanks giving for the new normal

Although we usually pine for more more more, sometimes you've got to be thankful of what you have in life and in your relationship.

I've realised this recently be noticing the new normal and how comfortable my wife now is being in charge. Readers of some duration to this blog will observe that 6 months ago I wasn't posting and our wife led marriage was stuck in a lull. I didn't know if my wife was every really going to embrace it. I was often trying to think about what could get her more interested but she seemed to be overwhelmed by everyday life.

Now she has fully taken charge and really enjoys it.

This morning she told me to follow her to the toilet for my golden goodness. I took me place on my knees before her. She used to hold the glass as she sat on the toiled but she recently decided that I should hold it. I love the anticipation of getting down on my needs before her and watching her beautiful pussy become visible before me. I love to hold the glass as her watery goodness comes gushing down to quickly fill my glass. There were times where I drank it quickly to show how I had no hesitation doing it. This morning I took a mouthful and showed my appreciation by savouring it for a moment before finishing the glass. As I drink it she smiles down at me with wonder and amusement. She really enjoys it. I smile back lovingly into her eyes. I feel very connected and close to her.

For the first time she required that I was the one who had to dry her with toilet paper. She just sat back on the toilet as I used the tissue to dry her off.

She then stood in front of my pelvis thrust forward for a final "lick off" where I suck any last few drops directly from her.

I loved when she finished off by telling me to pull up her pants. I was in heaven.

I must point out that I never thought we'd be into this. It's just something she really enjoys (surprisingly) and from that I love it too.

a little accident

I had a little accident.

Normally when I use her hollow dildo I can't feel a thing and don't get any stimulation at all. However the other night I got so turned on before she had me strap it on that I struggled to fit into it. There was more internal friction than normal and I exploded soon after entering her with it. She told me she was very disappointed with me and penalised me to a full week without climax.

Thursday, November 26, 2009

quick update

My wife and I have both been down with illness the last few weeks.
I've also be working harder and longer hours than ever. (if only the girls in the office new their serious business like manager is sitting at his desk in his formal suit with a nice pair of lace panties underneath!)

Sometimes I wonder about things like that. My wife and I don't consider ourselves too unusual. I wonder how many people I know who may secretly have unusual fetishes that most people would never ever guess.

Despite my wife being sick and having a period she has wanted sex a couple of times the last few weeks, much to my pleasant surprise.

She has also had me file and polish her toenails.

As soon as she stops taking any medication and gets back to a normal, healthy diet I'm sure I'll have to taste some more of her "golden goodness"
I love my wife.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

New toy

I asked my wife if I could buy a new toy--a hollow dildo. The rationale being that I could pleasure her as long as she needed and be denied pleasure at the same time. She loved the idea and ordered it herself http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=6348

When I cam home from work yesterday she told me it had arrived. She seemed really tired from a busy day, not in the mood for anything and went off to bed early. I stayed downstairs to clean the kitchen and then tried it on. It fitted fine and was quite comfortable. I could only fit into it when flaccid.

Later on when getting into bed she asked me if I had tried it on. I told her I had and she asked me to see it. As soon as I had it on she said let's try it out. All her clothes were off in seconds and I was commanded to warm her up by licking her below. After about a minute she told me to give it to her.

It was a really strange sensation. I had the pleasure of being on top of her and thrusting into her but couldn't feel anything. I loved seeing the smile on her face and how much she was enjoying it. I let her know I couldn't feel a thing and she seemed to enjoy that even more and think it was funny. Recently when I go inside her I come within about 2 minutes. I'm usually so excited in the build up (kissing her feet, pussy etc...) that by the time I enter I'm ready to explode. This hollow dildo allowed me to give it to her as hard and fast as I liked without the usual fear of coming too soon.

After going pretty fast for a few minutes I could feel myself getting tired. I just loved hearing her sweet moans and being this intimate with her. She got quite close to climax and then told me to get her regular vibrating dildo and start kissing her feet. Shortly afterwards she lay on her tummy and and me lick her rear while she used her own normal dildo on her pussy. I licked and licked for a long time as the vibrator was pleasuring the area right below where I was licking. Unfortunately her sweet moans ended, she climaxed and I had to stop licking. She allowed me about 10 seconds of pleasuring myself while licking her feet before I had to stay frustrated and cuddle up in bed beside her.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Unexpected behaviour from my wife

When my wife first got the idea of having me drink her pee I thought it would be something we'd try once or twice and then get bored of it. What surprised me is how much she seems to be enjoying it. There are two ways she has me do it.

She told me to leave a glass in the bathroom for her to use. Every other day she calls me into the toilet right after she has emptied herself. She points to a full glass on this sink which I take in my hand and drop to my knees before her, as she remains on the toilet. Looking into her eyes I drink every last drop as she sits there smiling/grinning at me. I did NOT expect her to like it this much. The thrill for me is that she enjoys it so much. It is a real turn on.

Sometimes she slides open the shower door and tells me to get on my knees (both of us naked). I then have to cup it in my hands and drink it up. To make sure I drink it all she'll hold back the stream in between my handfuls. She has pee'd directly into my mouth but she prefers me to cup it in my hand and drink from my cupped hands. It's easier for her to see.

Will we get bored of this? Will it go on for decades? I've no idea. All I know is that we've both been doing it and enjoying it a lot more than I expected us to.

Saturday, October 17, 2009

Does the husband need acknowledgement or should he submit 100%

Below is a comment I left for whatevershesays http://shestheboss.blogspot.com/ on his post "Interesting Comments"
I thought it was worth posting here:


Dear whatevershesays,

I agree fully with you. I'm not convinced that the first comment is not just fantasy material. However, even if it is 100% true, and works well for the lady (you don't usually see ladies write like that), it doesn't mean it works well for your and anybody else.

Your point about some sort acknowledgement from your wife is valid in my opinion. Although there may be husbands happy with no acknowledgement I haven't come across believable examples.

A relationship is a two way thing. If I don't get any acknowledgement I get less joy from my submission. Yes you can argue that it isn't pure submission if you "require" something from your wife, but hey, that's just how I've noticed things work with me. Maybe I'll change and be happy without her acknowledging her dominance but I seriously doubt it.

Wife led marriage is a very very beneficial set up for the wife. (I sometimes fantasise to myself that I'm my wife and can order me about at whim, or look down to see me worshipping my feet) In my opinion if something is very important to the husband, his wife should at least make an effort to learn a little more about it. Her relationship with her husband determines more than most other things in life her state of mind and happiness. If her husband has a deep underlying frustration it would probably affect the relationship. If the husband is getting his (minimal) minimal needs met he is likely to be happier and therefore in a better mood which rubs off on his wife. I don't personally subscribe to the notion that that the husband wants means nothing.

I'd struggle to go more than a week without any playful acknowledgement from my wife about her being the dominant partner. Just yesterday she left a glass of pee for me to drink when she finished in the toilet in the morning. Before I left for work I asked her if her feet needed kissing. Standing up, she took her right foot from her sandal and held it forward. I dropped to my knees and kissed it for about 10 seconds. I went off to work happy and satisfied.

That's just my feeling on it and I'm sure others may see it differently.

Mother in law comments

My mother in law has been visiting for the last two weeks.

This is the first time she's seen me be extra helpful to my wife as or FLR is now more obvious. As my wife's sitting by her computer I'll kneel beside her chair and ask her what else she wants help with. I've been helping my wife a lot

On this visit my mother in law keeps commenting privately to my wife about what a good husband I now am. She said to her yesterday:

"He's such a good husband to you. He comes home from work tired and you boss him about all evening."

My wife had a twinkle in her eye telling me this.

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Big News - part 2

As I continued the nightly and morning footrubs I paid better and better attention to taking care of her. A big turning point for me was reading a post by a lady (byrdie) on the She-makes-the-rules.com website where she said something along the lines of: make a list of all the things that cause any type of stress or discomfort to your wife. Ignore the ones that are outside of your control (weather?) and then make taking care of the others your priority list. This I did. My wife noticed that as I was giving her the morning and nightly foot rubs (and kisses), and reminding her she's the boss that my attitude and behaviour improved dramatically. I genuinely started paying better attention to her in all things and doing everything I could to help. We both noticed we felt much happier and closer to each other.

Eventually I decided she was happy enough with how things were going to introduce the she-makes-the-rules.com website to her. A few years ago I made the mistake of asking her to read the Elise Sutton website which she told me she disliked and which put her off FLR.

So one day I emailed her links to about 4 posts I thought she'd relate to on the SMTR website and said that I thought it could help both of us if she had a few mins to browse through it. Her initial email back to me was five word response like

"you need a log on."

I thought she just wasn't that bothered and that although very important to me, it didnt' seem important to her. The next day I went on her computer and set up a profile for her and emailed her the logon details.

That evening she logged on while I was sitting across the kitchen table from her. She was enjoying it and I could see her face lighting up. I could see a twinkle in her eye and she told me she wanted to get verified to get into the "real womens" area. I couldn't believe that she was interested enough in the website to want to do this. I was in heaven. Well actually I have been since then.

She spent quite a long time reading different posts and said that some of them gave her good ideas. She immediatly became more comfortable and confident in her dominance. Since then the FLR aspect of our marriage is now fully acknowledged between us and she's much more playful with me. She can see that I'm making an effort to be as helpful to her as possible and she knows that she needs to give this some sort of acknowledgement every day.

For example one night while finshing up her foot rub she starting sticking her toes into my mouth (her way of telling me to suck them). She than sat up on the bed with a smile and told me I could have a few strokes of masturbation while she watched me sucking her toes. She only gave me a 5-10 seconds but it was wonderful. I then had to go to bed.

The next night she was staying up a little later on the computer as I had to go to bed earlier to get up in time for work the next day. As she sat at her computer I went over and knelt beside her to hug and kiss her good night. She took her foot out of her sandal and started pushing it all over my face for me to kiss it--while smiling down at me. It was a delicious moment we both enjoyed.

She got an email from the moderators at SMTR settting up a real woman verificaiton video call. My wife phoned back the SMTR moderator from skype on speakerphone while my mother in law was in the room--I was shocked and scrambled to give her a more private line to make the call and get my mother in law out of the room. 10 minutes later I started liking the idea of her being so comfortable with FLR that she didn't mind her mother in law hearing and I wanted her to go back in the room. She did go back but the call was ending and she wouldn't have known who it was, nor did she ask.

In anycase I was delighted that my wife was now seeing SMTR as matter of fact. For the first time in our marriage I felt we had a FLR that was going to remain.

We both started reading SMTR in the evenigns and discussing some posts. For example she commented that the watersports post was interesting and liked the stories of ladies who popped out to the restroom to fill a coffee cup up with their urine and had their husbands drink it in coffee shop. When she told me that it sunk in how much she was really taking to FLR. That night she used me for her pleasure before sending me to sleep without release. I was so excited about this change (and knowing that she was one day going share watersports) that I couldn't sleep. At 3am I had no choice to relieve myself or I'm pretty sure I would have gotten to 7am witout a wink of sleep.

When she woke to go to the restroom in the morning I asked her if she needed help, drying herself off afterwards, and allowing me a few drops. She said yes. I was soo excited. She sat on the toilet and I knelt before her but then she stopped and told me to get in the shower and on my knees. I was like a kid before Christmas. She got in and told me to cup my hands below her vagina and then drink it.

I didn't know what this was going to be like. My own urine doesn't always smell that good and I thought it was going to be an uncomfortable, but pleasureable experience.

As her warm yellow goodness filled my cupped hands I bowed down my head to lick it up. Astonishinly it tasted very neutral and was nice and warm. I LOVED IT. While on my knees, I looked up to tell her how much I enjoyed it. The pee kept coming and I kept drinking it as quickly as I could, afriad to spill a drop. I then pushed my face right into her pussy to lick it from the soure. She giggled and the pee stopped. She told me that it make her ticklish and she couldn't pee out the rest. I stood up, looked at her with my big wide happy smiling eyes and told her how much I loved her and how much I enjoyed it. I must have said "that was sooo good" about 7 times. She had a big wide smile and said she was loving it too. She said she still couldn't believe I was doing it. Then she said there was more pee coming and I needed to cup my hands again to drink it up. I dropped to my knees and was careful not to lose any of it. After I finished drinking, she looked me in the eye and told me with a smile that I was never getting a bj again--ever. I said will I be able to give you oral? "Oh yeah, lots."
Will you give me more golden showers? "I sure will"
I told her I was very happy.

I drank a lot of her golden goodness that morning. We were both on a high.

At work I couldn't stop thinking about it and how exciting it was. It took over my thoughts so much that I had to relieve myself mid morning to try and stop thinking about anything sexual.
I sent her a text message to tell her how sexy she was and how much I enjoyed that morning. She said it was great for her too!

That was about 3-4 days ago. Last night I was in bed when she told me to join her in the shower for my golden shower. I jumped straight in, got on my knees and started to cup and consume everything she had to give me. Unfortunately there wasn't that much and it was over quite quickly.

This morning I (reluctantly) asked if I could drink from her again. She was in a bit of a hurry and told me I'd have to get a jug. I knelt before her while she sat on the toilet with a large jug beneath her. She filled the jug--all 16oz!
She sat and watch as I drank every last drop while kneeling before her. To be honest this was a little strange for her and I think she enjoyed the shower more. 16oz is a lot to drink and I had it down in about 30 seconds. I thanked her and reminded her how much I love her.

This evening she asked me if I now expected to drink from her every morning. I said I don't want to expect anything but only whatever you're comfortable with. You're the boss and you do what you're happy with.

We had a lot of friends over and when all was done I said to her in front of one of her friends, you take a rest and I'll do all the cleaning up. She later came back to me told her I did well today and thrust into me (her way of saying there's a good chance of intimacy tonight).

That brings us up to date. We feel closer than ever to each other and are both very happy.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Big News - part 1

I have some big news.

Where do I start? I guess I should have a recap on where we are to date. My wife and I met through vanilla dating 7 years ago. Although I can remember submissive thoughts from my early teens, I'd never discussed them with any partner. I knew she was the one for me and proposed after 3 months. Because I felt so close to her I was able to soon open up about my submissive fantasies in the bedroom. We occasionally indulged but it certainly wasn't an acknowledge female led relationship.

I started reading more online and wasn't sure if I wanted more than just bedroom games. I didn't like the idea of having to do more household chores etc and be at her beck and call. So we occasional played with her being the boss in bed. Eventually I plucked up the courage to order Around Her Finger - The New Brides Guide To Training Her Husband. I read it to her aloud in bed, she liked it and agreed to a week of bootcamp. We both enjoyed it and decided it have a female led relationship. Sometimes things were great, other times she forgot about FLR and didn't pay attention to the intimate part of it. As a result I'd resort to too much self pleasure, take my attention off her, daily life gets in the way and before we know it FLR was a thing of the past.

This seemed to switch on and off every once in a while, although never managing to continue FLR properly for more than a few weeks because it got forgotten about. I think it has to get to a certain point to become a continuous thing. As you can see from some of my older posts there are hot and cold periods and of course long gaps. In the long gaps nothing FLR happened apart from her taking charge during sex. If there were periods with less intimacy between us I just pleasured myself. Our daily life was vanilla and we were both a little irritable with each other. I was somewhat grumpy and she would get annoyed with me very easily.

By looking at my own blog entries I can see that it was Sept 10th when I decided to make a concerted effort to revitalise FLR between us. My first step was to dramatically reduce my self pleasure and focus my energy on her by starting to offer her nightly foot rubs again and during this time remind her that she's the boss.

Monday, October 5, 2009

Does the honor system work?

My birdlocked device won't fit on and I'm reluctant to buy another device so I've been working on the honor system. The obvious risk is that I can't hold myself back, I end up relieving myself and then take my attention off my wife.

Recently it's been working pretty well. On only one occasion I was so on edge for 4 days with constant stimulation that I was feeling quite a bit of pain/discomfort in my testes. I'd be walking around at work and able to feel the pain. This was distracting and as I have a job with a lot of responsibility and people reporting to me I didn't want to start being distracted too much during my work day. I relieved myself but promised myself beforehand that I wouldn't slack off when I got home.

Later that evening I did notice I wasn't jumping to help as quickly but did make a conscious effort to be helpful.
So far I'm happy with the honor system. Maybe one day my wife will want to introduce a device and if so I'm sure I'll be more than happy with that too.

Does honor work well for anyone else?

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill - A Surprising Piece on why men need to please women.

For those not familiar with it, Think and Grow Rich is one of the greatest success books of all time. Andrew Carnegie asked Napoleon Hill to study the most successful people of their time and document what it took to be successful in life. Carnegie was easily able to arrange him interviews with the most successful people of their era. Below is a short excerpt from one chapter (click the link below to read the full chapter).

It's very interesting to see this in an old, mainstream success manual. (if you click on the link at the bottom he explains in a lot of detail about harnessing mens sexual energy)


Man's greatest motivating force is his desire to please woman! The hunter who excelled during prehistoric days, before the dawn of civilization, did so, because of his desire to appear great in the eyes of woman. Man's nature has not changed in this respect. The "hunter" of today brings home no skins of wild animals, but he indicates his desire for her favor by supplying fine clothes, motor cars, and wealth. Man has the same desire to please woman that he had before the dawn of civilization. The only thing that has changed, is his method of pleasing. Men who accumulate large fortunes, and attain to great heights of power and fame, do so, mainly, to satisfy their desire to please women.
Take women out of their lives, and great wealth would be useless to most men. It is this inherent desire of man to please woman, which gives woman the power to make or break a man.

The woman who understands man's nature and tactfully caters to it, need have no fear of competition from other women. Men may be "giants" with indomitable will-power when dealing with other men, but they are easily managed by the women of their choice.
Most men will not admit that they are easily influenced by the women they prefer, because it is in the nature of the male to want to be recognized as the stronger of the species. Moreover, the intelligent woman recognizes this "manly trait" and very wisely makes no issue of it.

Some men know that they are being influenced by the women of their choice--their wives, sweethearts, mothers or sisters--but they tactfully refrain from rebelling against the influence because they are intelligent enough to know that NO MAN IS HAPPY OR COMPLETE WITHOUT THE MODIFYING INFLUENCE OF THE RIGHT WOMAN. The man who does not recognize this important truth deprives himself of the power which has done more to help men achieve success than all other forces combined.


Monday, September 28, 2009

Last Night

I don't want this blog to become solely about intimate activity--as it is only one aspect of female led marriage. However I've noticed a large increase in our intimacy since I stopped relieving myself and putting my full focus on keeping my wife happy.

I've been doing my best to keep her happy and do as much work as possible to help her out. She required a long foot rub in bed last night after which she asked me to massage her rear. I couldn't resist but to graduate from massage into kisses. A few minutes after I was then required to lick it she got excited enough to take out her toy and push me back down to sucking and licking her toes. This excites her hugely and she didn't take to long to climax.

I was then told to resume licking her rear and pleasure myself simultaneously. After spilling myself onto her ass I then had to lick up every last drop.

I love my wife.

Saturday, September 26, 2009


My wife put on the most incredibly pair of stockings this evening right after she got up and I was still in bed. She thought I was asleep.

I admitted to her tonight that when I saw her put them on I got so hard. It made me want to go straight over, kneel before her and pleasure myself at her feet.

She seemed to like the idea. Maybe I'll get lucky some morning.

Friday, September 25, 2009

Too Submissive??

At All Times (http://sheisincharge.blogspot.com/) in response to a previous posting discussed the issue of being too submissive, which I think is an important issue.

Let's face it. A husband's fantasy seems to be often far removed from what our wives actually want. My wife is happy with my submissiveness and knows it helps both of us to be happier. But she also needs me to be a strong, intelligent partner who can think for myself.

There are moments where I am overcome with submissive feelings and want to drop to my knees and kiss her feet (outside the bedroom). Do I do it? No. There's only a certain amount she can handle.

To prevent myself from being too submissive I'll often allow myself release (if I'm pretty sure that she's not going to have a chance to be pleasured in the next few days due to workload).

It works but the obvious drawback is that I'm not attentive enough afterwards and slip back into my old bad habits. I may suggest a chastity device when I think she's ready.

OK. Gotta go and clean the kitchen before she comes home.

Monday, September 14, 2009

Lack of motivation as much mine as hers

Following on from my previous post At All Times' useful comment included the following:

You say "she doesn't ask for foot rubs or other activities like this which enforce the dynamic", so does that mean she isn't really into this lifestyle, but then go on to say, "it's my own fault for not making a greater effort or have energy when I get home and be able to pay more attention to her.". The question is, who is motivating who, and therefore, are you truly in a wife led marriage. Technically, if it is a wife led marriage, then she should be leading, demanding and expecting your attention and commitment, and you should be submitting and fulfilling her needs and desires.

On our very first time ever in bed, shortly after we met, she whispered during a moment of intimacy "I'm going to make you my loveslave". I knew right away we'd be sexually compatible. Getting to acknowledged FLR took almost two years. First it was only during intimate moments, but before our wedding I bought "Around Her Finger: The New Brides Guide To Training Her Husband" and read it to her. Since then it's been acknowledged.

We've had periods where it's been fantastic and we've had periods where it's fallen by the wayside due to a busy everyday life getting in the way causing us both to forget about it. As I admitted in a previous post it was me who was sometimes unenthusiastic about giving foot rubs at times causing her to not bother asking.

When we're into it she has no problem with motivation and can get quite proactive in her domination. I think too much self pleasure from my behalf made me lazy. I bought a chastity device which I haven't been able to get on (birdlocked). Maybe I'll look for something I can use, which will help ensure I don't forget who's boss.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

real life

I realize I haven't been blogging here for quite some time. The reason is that my wife and I have had very little LFA in our lives over the last few months. Not a conscious decision, just the way things went when daily live gets too overwhelming and we both get too busy tired.

When I wanted to introduce my wife to LFA a few years ago the thought of it used to take over my mind, now that we can have it when we want to, it sometimes gets forgotten about. When I come home late from work very tired (and admittedly occasionally grumpy) she doesn't ask for foot rubs or other activities like this which enforce the dynamic. I'm often too tired to be even motivated for it. So really it's my own fault for not making a greater effort ot have energy when I get home and be able to pay more attention to her.

Look....this isn't as sexy a blog post as some of the previous ones I've written......but it's real life and I think it's important to keep blogs like this real. Sometimes I think the odd blogger likes to only include the highlights of their life. Some of us might compare our relationship to that and think we need to do a lot of work to improve our own relationship to this blissful, 100% happy femdom marriage. I'm just saying it as it is.

One thing I notice is that when we pay more attention to LFA, we are more caring to each other. There is no doubt about it that we're both happier when living with LFA in our daily lives. Thankfully I'm blessed with a wonderful wife that loves to be in charge.

I just need to get up off my behind and stop being so lazy when at home.

That's all folks. As always I'm interested to read any comments you may have.

Friday, May 22, 2009

Our Anniversary

It was our anniversary recently and I hadn't prepared a single thing, I had been overwhelmed with work and coming home very tired.

With our two babies we hardly had a moment to be intimate over the last few weeks and we needed some time to ourselves. During the day of our anniversary I figured I better take her out for dinner and eventually decided on a restaurant in the best hotel in the area.

Since we hadn't been intimate in a while I was eager to get some time alone with her. I booked a room at the hotel that we'd be passing as we left the restaurant. Before I came home to bring her out I went to the hotel, checked in and collected my key.

I couldn't wait to get her up there. All through dinner I was 1/2 nervous, 1/2 excited and couldn't stop thinking about what we were going to do afterwards. I was careful not to order to much food and hoped she wouldn't eat too much so we wouldn't feel full and bloated afterwards.

Thankfully dinner didn't take too long and we left the restaurant to return to our car. As we walked by the hotel rooms she was surprised to see me reaching into my pocked and opening the door of a nice hotel room.

She was kind of shocked and very very pleasantly surprised. Her face lit up and she kept telling me how impressed she was with my surprise for her.

After a little kissing while standing up, I knelt down to start removing her shoes and dress. I then removed all her clothes and knelt before her. She then climbed up onto the bed and had me start out by massaging her feet (I had kept massage cream in my pocket).

This progressed to a full body massage before I was permitted to orally serviced her front and then back. I was so happy and she really enjoyed it. She had me kiss and lick her feet while she used her fingers to bring herself to climax.

She asked how I'd like to come and I said it would be really nice if she sat on the armchair in the room and watched me kneel in front of her. It was so nice.

She sat stretched out naked on the cushioned armchair in the hotel room while I knelt before her kissing and worshipping her feet, and looking up at her adoringly. She could see I looked so happy in this position and she took great pleasure from it.

She then had me pleasure myself and have my climax come onto her foot, which she happily watched as I had to lick it from her. I get excited even remembering a second of it.

It was such a wonderful evening that will stay with my always. She was so happy and appreciated the effort I made to take care of her.


Sorry about the delay in posting. I've been very busy with work and been travelling quite a lot.

LFR sometimes get pushed aside by everyday life. But that's fine, I don't want it to be this big serious all consuming thing that takes over my life. I just like to enjoy my time with my wife when I'm with her. To be honest, we can go through times when there's very little sexual happening and then it all happens together.

For the last few months it has become normal for her to require me to eat her creampie. I get so excited about the thought of it before hand. However, although I get repulsed at the idea of it right after I come, I do enjoy getting right down there and cleaning her out. And I know she enjoys it to. You guys have similar experiences with creampie? What do your ladies think if it?

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

New Device: So far not so good

My new birdlocked device arrived a few days ago. Despite many attempts I can't put it on!

I don't want to get into too much detail....
but I hang quite close to my body and simlpy cannot stretch my
scrotum far enough to get to the second photograph on this link


I've tried at several times of the day both before and after ejaculation. I'm not sure what to do about it as I've never come across anyone mentioning it.

Has anyone any experience of this problem?

Friday, February 6, 2009

Just Ordered My First Device

I never felt comfortable even looking at a cb3k or cb6k and couldn't bring myself to getting one. I always thought there must be a better way, something softer than plastic but stronger than rubber.

A brand new silicone device has just been launched which I ordered immediately. http://www.tickleberry.co.uk/p/male-chastity/birdlock-silicone-chastity-device/chs053.html

Someone made the following post to the she-makes-the-rules.com forum which seems to explain it in a lot more detail:

With respect to the bar at the bottom of the device, the video makes it fairly clear that it fits into the indented or grooved area of the ring part, through which one inserts the penis and testicles. The locking band is then slipped through a slot in the free part of the bar that fits in the groove. The locking band is wrapped around the grooved area. The locking band has a stud at one end and a hole at the other end, which fits over the stud. The stud has a hole in it for the lock.

All that to say that the flexible bar is used to lock the penis into the device. Without that locking bar, one could very easily twist the flexible cage and extract the penis. The bar also seems to pull the cage slightly down, which would tend to shorten the distance between the open area of the cage that doesn't connect to the ring. The smaller that gap, the more difficult it will be to extract the penis. Also, if you go to the User Guide/Forum page at the Birdlocked website, it will become very obvious to you that there is a "missing photo" or two between photos 4 and 5. But, if you recall how the strap was connected in the video, you will realize that the bar as the base of the device has to be pulled down and over the testicles, thereby separating the testicles from one another, before the free end can "reach" the grooved area. So, in essence, that bar separates the testicles and closes the gap. The more I think about it, the more I realize that bar will make is very difficult to extract the penis from the cage. This "fact" is not really clear from anything on Birdlocked's website, as not even the photos in the Photo Gallery reveal this pernicious aspect of the device! But, the Tickleberry website indicates that for the last installation step, "Draw the lower linkage bar down and between your balls and padlock the restraining transparent cock strap around the cock ring." That is truly evil.

As to its size, for those "less endowed", they will make one 2 cm shorter, if you request it, though they say that it's not for sale on the website and it may not be necessary. Compared to the CB 2000, the inside diameter of the Birdlocked is smaller than the CB 2000: 1.36" to 1.5" (and smaller than that of a CB 3000 or 6000 at 1.38". The length of the Birdlocked cage is 2.53", whereas the length of the CB 2000 cage is 2.5" (CB 3000 is 3.0" and CB 6000 is 3.25". The overall length of the Birdlocked is 3.7", but there is no information regarding the overall length of the CB 2000 or other CB products. It's not that easy to measure these devices, but the CB 3000 website says the cage portion is 3.0". I measured mine and once I found where they'd measured to get that 3.0" length, I measured the overall length of the CB 3000 and it was about 4". From all that, I gather that the Birdlocked may be a great combination of the narrowness of the CB 3000 and the shorter cage length of the CB 2000. If they made one with a cage that was 2 cm shorter, it removes a couple of the air holes, and makes the cage length 1.77" long, nearly 3/4" or an inch shorter. My conclusion for those less endowed is that it will work well, and the shorter test product could be downright evil. I think of my own "varying" lengths while flaccid and experience with the CB 3000. There are times that my flaccid penis completely fills the cage and others where it retracts and maybe fills no more than half of the cage. So, I know that under certain circumstances I could probably fit into something as small as a 1.77" Birdlocked, but that would leave no room for the changes in size I experience throughout the day.

As to cleanliness, that is my primary concern. Tickleberry makes it very clear that it clings to ones skin, as previously noted, "the silicone Birdlock back ring grips your skin very well," so you have to lubricate under the ring in order to put ones penis and testicles through the ring, and must lubricate the cage in order to insure smooth insertion of the penis into it. But, medical grade silicone stays cleaner and is easier to clean than typical silicone. With the band on, it should still be possible to clean under the ring and inside the cage, not unlike a CB 3000 or 6000, but clearly not as easy to clean as a CB 2000. My guess is re-lubing will be a necessity after bathing, though I would also guess that an attempt at an erection in the Birdlocked will be less painful than one in a CB 2000, 3000 or 6000!

As to the ability to stimulate oneself, dollars to doughnuts tells me that there will be some sensation through the silicone, but there will be no real, direct contact of the penis. However, as noted, since it is possible to orgasm and ejaculate with a CB 3000 or Exobelt X1, I think it will be possible to do so with the Birdlocked. So, it won't be perfect. When alone it is a matter or self-control. When with SWMBO, the gentleman in you should cause you to advise her that you are near the edge and must back off, unless she wants you to come.

Monday, February 2, 2009

Almost vanilla

Sometimes we almost lead a vanilla life. It's not all intense femdom. With young kids, lack of sleep and too much work we can both end up drained. Thankfully she's still remembering to ask for her nightly foot rub in bed after which I'm allowed a little kiss.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

(Cliche alert) I needed to start focus on her needs not just mine.

In response to the last post At All Times asked:

"I get this on occassions, but mostly in the bedroom, was there a time for you when it was the same for you, and what happened to change this, for your wife to take this outside the bedroom."

Sure there was. I think initially my wife thought this was just a fad. This was reinforced when I went through periods of not being fully committed to FLR. I don't wear a device and sometimes if I came home really exhausted from work and just needed to rest for a while I wasn't so enthusiastic about helping out etc... Add two young kids and we'd then slip back into the old routine of 50/50 etc....

Then time would pass by where I realise I'm not happy without FLR, and she's not happy with me being grumpy and unhelpful around the house.

I'd then broach the subject again, but most recently promised to myself not to pressure her and focus on serving her best I can. I am also careful not to make her feel like I expect something of her or else this puts pressure on her. I (almost) never use words like slave or anything derogatory that could think it's all too far fetched. Instead I enjoy giving her pedicures, foot rubs etc.... she's delighted to see how much I enjoy it and she takes satisfaction from having me serve her.

As she became more comfortable with this being a normal part of her life she realises that normal daily life is much better for both of us when she acknowledges her place as boss.

Friday, January 16, 2009

some things we do

What have we done that isn't vanilla?

- sex almost always beings with me massaging/kissing her feet/body
- she'll have me lick her ass while she uses a dildo
- she'll have me kiss/lick her feet while she plays with her dildo. (she also likes me inside but I don't last long since she became boss. I just get far too excited!)
- when she allows me to come she often likes me standing at the end of the bed with one leg up on the bed so she can see better She then needs me to come in my hands and lick it.
- I'll wash her in the shower. Kneel down to scrub her legs, feet. Kiss her feet and pussy. I love looking up at her face while kneeling before her.
- as she's blow drying her hair I'll massage her shoulders. Then rub lotion on her legs/feet, followed by being allowed to kiss her feet and very briefly her pussy/anus.
- once at a hotel function we snook out to a (somewhat) private area downstairs. I knelt before her kissing her feet through her sandals and masturbated.
- I'll occasionally paint her toenails
- she'll spank me when misbehaved
- if we ever argue she'll say "who's the boss?" and then occasionally have me kiss her feet.
- she can demand a foot massage at any time. I've never refused.
- she likes to make me masturbate in ways which are semi-public or have my naked butt against the window when doing it in a hotel.
- I'll put on her shoes as we leave the house.
Not all the above are done on a regular basis.I work long hours in a senior management position and she raises two kids under 3 who don't like sleeping. Our FLR life is occasionally forgotten due to stress etc..
The only prop we use is her dildo. It's all very much based aroun
d worshipping her.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

I love a good shave

Although I hated the idea of doing it at first, I now love a god shave. The act of doing it makes me feel incredibly submissive. My wife much prefers it as it helps remind me who's in charge.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

BJs vs Oral

I know guys are meant to love blow jobs but I've always preferred giving oral. I don't know what it is about it. Perhaps it's just the strong submissive element to it. I told my wife that I much rather give than receive oral sex. She hasn't give me a BJ in years but I lick her out every time we have sex now.

It's one of my favourite things in life. I feel so good being down there between he thighs pleasuring her.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Clooney wanted some femdom action too...

Tarantino has a major foot fetish

This scene was a major trigger for me in realising how much I loved femdom:

Here he openly admits his foot fetish:

Here are selected scenes from his movies where he focuses on feet:

Not ready for a device

I saw the CB-3000 Curve in a shop last week and almost bought it. However it looked so uncomfortable I couldn't imagine myself wearing it underneath my suit all day. From reading online reviews, many users claim that it's uncomfortable and can be painful. Has anyone here any experience with it?

Disappointing her

Sometimes she'll have me go inside of her. Unfortunately by this time I'm so excited I come in about 2mins, to her dismay. I hate to see her so disappointed. At times I feel like I should get a strap on so I can satisfy her longer. Before acknowledging femdom when we had completely vanilla sex life I was able to last much longer. Now I get so excited so quickly I literally can't contain myself.

Has anyone any advice on how to deal with this in a LFA relationship?

Has anyone got a strap on to give their wives the pleasure of penetrative sex?

Typical sex at the moment

At the moment we're both pretty tired much of the time so sex is about once every 1-2 weeks :(

Usually I offer her a foot massage followed by her asking for a full body massage. I start getting excited and kissing her feet.

Me kissing her feet is a big turn on for her. Sometimes she'll ask me to lick her downstairs, sometimes she'll take out her dildo and demand I continue kissing/licking her feet while she brings herself to orgasm. She'll have me suck her toes and push her feet all over my face while she touches herself. This is soooo exciting for both of us.

Sometimes she'll make me eat my own cum. As you know the though of this is really exciting before ejaculation but instantly diminishes once I cum. However, I get excited again by the her wanting me to do it.

Biggest Femdom Killer

Our LFA lifestyle had been going really well until we had our first kid.
All of a sudden our peace and quiet was gone. She's a stay at home mom. I'm a busy executive with a lot of responsibility at work and often come home from the office exhausted and without any enthusiasm for LFA or helping around the house.
Add a second kid 18 months later and you've got two exhausted people who aren't paying a whole lot of attention to their sex life anymore. LFA becomes an afterthought.

That's pretty much where we're at right now. We both know she's in charge but it's not the LFA lifestyle we used to have.

I know that more housework etc... would make a big difference to her and show her I'm serious about LFA outside of the bedroom, however when I come home so tired and start changing diapers I'm just not up to it.

At the moment our sex life pretty much consist of .....

Saturday, January 3, 2009

Famous women love femdom too... pt. 2

Cindy Crawford
Howard: "Goodbye Cindy" (Kisses Hand)
Cindy: "Aren't you going to kiss my foot?"
Howard: "Oh you want me to kiss your foot? Here give me your foot, give me your foot!"
Radio DJ Howard Stern

Kari Wuhrer
Question: "At what point in a relationship would you let a guy suck your toes?"
Kuhrer: "First date. Are you kidding?"
Kari Wuhrer-Maxim Online Chat

Leelee Sobieski
Interviewer: "What is your favorite scene in the film?"
Sobieski: "I like when he (Klien) kisses my feet"
Leelee Sobieski-API Interview, 'Here on Earth'

Jessica Simpson
"I even took off my shoes just for him. I think it's a cute fetish..."
Jessica Simpson in "JoJo Wright show"

Famous women love femdom too...

Jolie, Spears, Stone, Electra, Madonna etc.........
love to have men kiss their feet.
We don't have to feel weird anymore. Lots and lots of celebrities have admitted to having men kiss their feet. Short snippets pop up in the media here and there', but nobody sees them all together. Here's some I came across:

Britney Spears
Russell Gilbert show:
Q: "What is your Favorite seduction?"
A: "for a guy to kiss my feet..."
(Don't believe me? Watch her say it:)

Jenny McCarthy:
"My boyfriend's a real foot man... he loves to look at mine. I walk around without a top on and he's looking at my $3 pedicure. Sometimes there's toe-sucking, it just depends what kind of mood we're in." from TV Guide Online, Fall '99

Angelina Jolie and Billy Bob Thorton in the July 5, 2001 "Rolling Stone"
Thornton kisses her foot.
"I have a foot thing," she says.
"We have a whole foot thing," he says.

Sharon Stone:
"Some men know how to remind women that we are the fairer sex. They know how to rub a gal's pretty feet" Sharon Stone-Esquire Magazine

[Madonna quote when questioned about the toe sucking back cover of Erotica]
Madonna: "Sure I like to suck toes, but prefer to have my toes sucked...(gigle)"

Elisabeth Rohm, in the June issue of "GQ, " pg. 222
"Now I can tell you something dirty.
I like men who have a foot fetish.
I absolutely think it's the most charming thing.
It's just so romantic."

AOL Live Chat: "What is your idea of a fun date?"
Carmen Electra: "Shrimping. It's another word for toe sucking."

More to follow soon.

Intimacy & Caring

In a comment on my previous post Candace asked:

"But how do you categorize this act as one of submission rather than one of intimacy and caring?"

Submission can be intimate and caring. In fact, that's my favorite form of submission. I don't relate to many of the images or stories I read on women being in charge.

To me, most femdom art is far too focused on pain--which I don't have much interest in (apart from a little spanking, and I don't even like that to get too painful)

Although I've no problem with it, I'm not interested in leather, chains and whips etc..

I prefer to provide caring, intimate servitude to my wife.

I'm happy to answer your question and keep sending them my way.

Morning routine.

I love when my wife makes me give her a footrub before she even gets out of bed. When we have time (once or twice a week) I'll get in the shower with her. I drop straight to my knees and start washing one of her legs. I love looking up in her eyes as I do it. I then wash the other leg and she places a foot on my lap for me to wash it. She then has me wash her other foot.

She'll make me wash her pubic area and rear, first with soap and after rinsing with water, I clean these areas with my tongue. She'll then have me wash her armpits and back before I towel her down when she gets out of the shower.

As she sits at her dressing table blowdrying her hair, I start to massage body cream into her shoulders and back. I'll then drop to me knees and massage her legs and feet, while she's still doing her hair. When she gets up she usually allows me a brief kiss of her pubic area followed by a quick lick of her rear.

I then thank her.

Oh, how I love it!

I tried to forget about letting my wife being in charge again.
I tried to suppress my feelings. We went back to the (bad)old 50/50. For a couple of weeks I managed to block it out of my mind.

However, no matter how much I tried to ignore it, it just kept coming back. After a while I started offering foot rubs and lots of oral pleasure. It wasn't too long before we were living LFA again.

My wise wife told me to stop trying to figure out why I love her being the boss and just accept it.

How did we get started in LFA?

A few months after we started dating I couldn't resist during foreplay to kneel before her submissively and provide oral pleasure. Occasionally, I was cheeky enough to start kissing her feet. Over time I became more and more confident in offering footrubs and again I couldn't resist kissing her feet.

Of course she was curious and I just had to tell her that it really turned me on and that I enjoyed doing it. I felt very guilty and embarassed about it, not to mention my fear that she would reject me for not being a "real man."

I left www.aroundherfinger.com open on my computer a few times hoping she see it, have a browse through it and bring up the subject, but she never noticed it.

I had to tell her there was a website I wanted to read out to her. We sat up in bed and I read aroundherfinger.com to her from my laptop. I could see her face starting to light up.

We trialed it for a week and it went FANTASTIC! We were both so HAPPY. But then I got freaked out and started worrying too much about what might go wrong.

1) Since the relationship entails bringing more sexual energy into the relationship my wife complained that I was too interested in sex, that my whole life had become about sex, and that it's all I could think about. Yes it was true.

2) It I went a few days being teased without ejaculation I wasn't able to maintain a proper erection in order to give her satisfactory pleasure. I'm a healthy 29 year old man who normally has no problem, but once I became extremely submissive I just couldn't get it up and if I did, I'd have a premature ejaculation.

3) I noticed that many (although certainly not all) websites discussing female led marriage discuss cuckoldry. Once I discovered my own inability to please my wife and her disappointment I started to understand why. I know for certain that is a line I don't want to cross and I'm afraid that if we continued with a female led marriage, and my inability to maintain erection, I could easily end up getting excited by the idea and wanting to introduce her to it.

We decided to go back to our (bad)old 50/50

It's so relieving to find information on Loving Female Authority on the internet. When I first became aware of my deep desire to submit to dominant women I struggled with feelings of guilt. I felt that there must be something wrong with me.

Knowing that so many other people live this lifesytle helped me accept myself and feel better about myself. It also helped me pluck up the courage to introduce the concept to my wife. It's so good to feel at peace with this acceptance.

More to follow on how I got my wife to accept LFA