Monday, September 14, 2009

Lack of motivation as much mine as hers

Following on from my previous post At All Times' useful comment included the following:

You say "she doesn't ask for foot rubs or other activities like this which enforce the dynamic", so does that mean she isn't really into this lifestyle, but then go on to say, "it's my own fault for not making a greater effort or have energy when I get home and be able to pay more attention to her.". The question is, who is motivating who, and therefore, are you truly in a wife led marriage. Technically, if it is a wife led marriage, then she should be leading, demanding and expecting your attention and commitment, and you should be submitting and fulfilling her needs and desires.

On our very first time ever in bed, shortly after we met, she whispered during a moment of intimacy "I'm going to make you my loveslave". I knew right away we'd be sexually compatible. Getting to acknowledged FLR took almost two years. First it was only during intimate moments, but before our wedding I bought "Around Her Finger: The New Brides Guide To Training Her Husband" and read it to her. Since then it's been acknowledged.

We've had periods where it's been fantastic and we've had periods where it's fallen by the wayside due to a busy everyday life getting in the way causing us both to forget about it. As I admitted in a previous post it was me who was sometimes unenthusiastic about giving foot rubs at times causing her to not bother asking.

When we're into it she has no problem with motivation and can get quite proactive in her domination. I think too much self pleasure from my behalf made me lazy. I bought a chastity device which I haven't been able to get on (birdlocked). Maybe I'll look for something I can use, which will help ensure I don't forget who's boss.


  1. A great honest blog. I lose motivation too sometimes. And sometimes I am not sure why. Busy life and getting distracted I guess. But it is wonderful when the intensity resumes..
    Hope all is well for you and your family. Sal's Hubby

  2. I agree with Anonymous that this is a post with a lot of honesty. Mr. @alltimes is a wise man. He deserves your attention. I am glad you were able to read Emily & Ken Addison's book to her. Personally, I wish I could to my wife, but she hasn't asked for it. This at least established the pattern that is available to her when she wants it and she knows you are able to be engaged willingly.

    About the self pleasure thing making you out of funk. I have been on a maintenance schedule for several months. It is new for me. I have found after my scheduled releases, for a day or so my thoughts are more self centered. I found this realization helpful. Personally I think I could serve my wife better if I was denied more, but when I raised the issue, I got in serious trouble for being "TOO SUBMISSIVE". As it stands, I am permitted two per week, assuming I have behaved well.