Saturday, January 3, 2009

How did we get started in LFA?

A few months after we started dating I couldn't resist during foreplay to kneel before her submissively and provide oral pleasure. Occasionally, I was cheeky enough to start kissing her feet. Over time I became more and more confident in offering footrubs and again I couldn't resist kissing her feet.

Of course she was curious and I just had to tell her that it really turned me on and that I enjoyed doing it. I felt very guilty and embarassed about it, not to mention my fear that she would reject me for not being a "real man."

I left open on my computer a few times hoping she see it, have a browse through it and bring up the subject, but she never noticed it.

I had to tell her there was a website I wanted to read out to her. We sat up in bed and I read to her from my laptop. I could see her face starting to light up.

We trialed it for a week and it went FANTASTIC! We were both so HAPPY. But then I got freaked out and started worrying too much about what might go wrong.

1) Since the relationship entails bringing more sexual energy into the relationship my wife complained that I was too interested in sex, that my whole life had become about sex, and that it's all I could think about. Yes it was true.

2) It I went a few days being teased without ejaculation I wasn't able to maintain a proper erection in order to give her satisfactory pleasure. I'm a healthy 29 year old man who normally has no problem, but once I became extremely submissive I just couldn't get it up and if I did, I'd have a premature ejaculation.

3) I noticed that many (although certainly not all) websites discussing female led marriage discuss cuckoldry. Once I discovered my own inability to please my wife and her disappointment I started to understand why. I know for certain that is a line I don't want to cross and I'm afraid that if we continued with a female led marriage, and my inability to maintain erection, I could easily end up getting excited by the idea and wanting to introduce her to it.

We decided to go back to our (bad)old 50/50

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