Wednesday, April 7, 2010

My thoughts on cuckoldry

OK. I will may lose some readers for this as I realize many of you have very firm views on this.....and that's fine with me

Life wouldn't be very interesting if we all thought the same thing about the same things!

I've never experienced or met anyone who was involved in this activity so that already limits my expertise on the subject. However, I have read quite a few blogs and message boards which discuss it. From what I read, there are people who engage in this successfully and it works well for them (in this case I'd define successful as being they view it as an overall positive experience and if they could turn back the hands of time they'd do it again). I have absolutely no problem with this and am happy that they have found something which enriches their lives. I'm all for choice and diversity etc..

In my own personal opinion, I wouldn't like it. While I still viewed myself as being vanilla, I never liked the idea of swinging as I always thought it too dangerous to a relationship to start getting physically involved with others. Obviously lots of people see no problem with this.

I've noticed that many of the blogs and message board postings discussing the activity refer to "gut wrenching" emotions and often pain accompanied by the deepest possible subspace at other times. It appears that in many cases it seems the amount of emotional energy they put into it can take over their lives leading to an unhealthy balance.

I've also read several accounts of where men fantisized about it, enjoyed parts of it when it happened but then later regretted it when their wife started to emotionally bond with the 3rd party and pay less attention to them.

Men and women are different. For men, sex can be another fun activity like playing football and many can easily engage it it with a stranger and have zero emotional involvement. As a broad generalization (to which there are many exceptions, including people reading this) women tend to get more emotionally involved when having sex. If they start having sex with someone over a period of time they're more likely to start bonding with them in some way. This increases the chances of the cuck being somewhat neglected as his wife spends more time with the bull and enjoys new found libido.

I do believe that this has and does work for certain people, but I never could see it working for me personally and my beautiful wife.


  1. I Know that in our relationship both LO7 and myself are far to jealous and have no interest in this aspect of the lifestyle

  2. Happy to say that I agree with Young. It's not jealousy for me. One, I made a commitment to be monogamous. Two, so did my wife and I'm sure she'd be appalled at the suggestion. Three, it's just so good with my true love, best friend and life partner. Anything else would have to be like rice cake next to filet mignon. Just doesn't satisfy. Kapeesh?

  3. One of the favorable sideeffects of monogamous relationships is not having to consider sexually transmitted diseases. If we take your "cuck and bull" scenario, the woman may end up with an unsafe partner. By definition, if that bull (I hate this usage) is willing to relate with a married woman, he is unsafe. Who knows where his private parts were dipped the day before she generously allowed him to fuck her brains out.

    I agree with your assessment of emotional impact. It is difficult to anticipate it when one is living in fantasy, which is most of these cuckold wannabies do. There are some who do it for real, and are happy, although I have not ascertained that. Reading blogs and bulletin board postings are no proof of anything other than rich fantasy life and sex play.

  4. Hello,

    I think the act of offering your wife the option to explore sexual relationships with another to be a submissive sign of surrender to her authority. Whether I would enjoy it is a little off topic, IMHO. Would she enjoy it is the question. If so, then submitting to her wish in turn brings me enjoyment.

    The neglect you speak of is apart of the overall concept. Being relegated to a stay-at-home domestic while a wife enjoys an unencumbered lifestyle brings the disparity a submissive craves.

    Anyway, just wanted to throw in my two cents.


  5. The vast majority of real (or at least, realistic) cuckolding relationships I have read about and seen rarely follow the male fantasy pattern of the wife suddenly turning into a slut to fuck the neighborhood but, rather they seem to be polyamorous relationships with emotional bonds between the wife and her lover(s).

    I can't see that a woman will settle for one meaningless sexual encounter after another with all the baggage that they bring with them - unless it's her job.

  6. I agree with you , I don't like the idea of cuckolding but if we are in a FLR, the woman can have all the pleasure she wants. If she desire an other man, why not take it, certainly not by fidelity for her sub.
    The sub boy must think of her needs and only about her needs, he must accept the idea as soon as possible, even if it's hurt at the beginning.
    He lives his sub life that's what he wants, let her live what she wants.

  7. What always irks me is when subs say in a FLR it is only about the woman's desires without regard to the sub's standards. That may be true for some but it need not be a NECESSARY one. People have hard limits and those need to be honored. If my wife wanted me to be castrated because it would please her, would I HAVE to do it because she makes the decisions? Of course not. If the sub has a hard limit on cuckolding, then she needs to decide if she wants to accept that or leave him.

  8. Only gay people and bi people like cuckoldry.It is not for straight guys.